But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ~Matt 6:33

I’ve been thinking about what I need to let go of in order to experience more peace and calm in my life. As I’ve been reflecting, my mind always goes back to my old way of thinking which is ” I can do it all”.  If this past year has taught me anything, I’ve learned that this statement is not true and that if I want what is best for me, then I need to slow down, listen to God and stay in his will.  The past few chapters of Stressed Less Living have spoken directly to my heart.

You see, Stress has left me physically exhausted and mentally at the end of my rope.  I visited the doctor this past week  certain I was going to be diagnosed with a mysterious and deadly disease, instead I was given a positive report with a few minor additional preventive measures.  Feelings of defeat, exhaustion, and sometimes paranoia have stifled my joy.

Although I know better (bible teacher, life coach, woman of God), I still fell for the enemy’s tricks.  So I’ve decided to fight back by intentionally recognizing and celebrating my blessings.  Below is a list of  things, events, or people who have blessed me ( in no particular order)

1.  Going out of town to visit family.

2.  Witnessing and celebrating graduation with wonderful students who are going to go out and change the world

3.  Gorgeous sunsets

4.  Exercising

5.  Wonderful leadership with our Cub Scout Pack

6.  Participating in Grant’s bridge crossing ceremony over into the final year of the WEBLOS Den

7.  New candles

8.  Inexpensive repair to my car

9. Beautiful plants and flowers for Mothers Day

10.  Awesome staff members who are dedicated to their work

11.  Great neighbors

12. The writings of Tracie Miles, Beth Moore, and Prisicilla Shirer

13. My family

14.  Great friends who have been supportive and challenging

15.  Knowing that God will supply all of my needs.

Taking the time to acknowledge my blessings, in the midst of stressful seasons, reminds me that God has promised to never leave or forsake me.

What are some people, events, or things that God has sent to you as blessings ?

Award-winning author of Keepers of the Testimony and Smooth Stones & Promises Fay Rowe’s third book and first devotional, 25,000 Mornings, offers up daily portions of ancient, Biblical wisdom.  Meant to be encouraging and amusing, this devotional is perfect to through in your purse or workbag for quick moments of inspiration.

Time stands still for no one. In the hustle and bustle of life how often do we crowd out God’s voice?  In this poignant and thoughtful devotional Fay Rowe gives us a glimpse of how to be cheerful and expectant in all areas of our lives. Taking very small passages of scripture Rowe makes positive application by using simple yet vibrant metaphors to help us connect to God developing a habit of reflective listening.

To comply with new regulations introduced by the Federal Trade Commission, BookSneeze® has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book. Disclosure: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 [...] “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Rest

In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. ~ Isaiah 30:15b (NIV)

Some days my “to-do” list is at least a mile long and I need to rest my mind and my body.  As I’ve reflected on the scripture, introducing my post, I’ve thought of all the times that I allowed my E.G.O. to dominate and control my life.  I know when my stress has gotten the best of me.  I begin to feel threatened, my listening skills go way down, and I am on the go.  Sometimes this happens when I have a seven day work week or I’ve committed to doing something that I really don’t want to do.  This verse has helped me to see that God wants us to rest and it all connects back to trusting him.

This is the first half of a verse taken from a direct message from God  warning the tribe of  Judah about turning to other nations for help and not relying on God’s sovereignty.

How often do we do the same thing?  We latch on to the latest fad, read the most popular self-help book, or get counseling from friends and we fail to take our anxious thoughts, worries, and cares to God.  I know I’m guilty.

In repentance and rest is your salvation:  Now it’s time to do a head check and a heart check.  Why are we not resting?  Why are we not taking our concerns to the Lord in prayer…..is it because we know we aren’t living up to what we believe, which has heightened our anxiety and causing us not to rest.  Are we trying to keep up with the Jones or we have our kids so high up on a pedestal that we  keep them involved in too much activity without any family time.

In quietness and trust is your strength: How is your prayer life?  Mine had to improve so that I could hear from God.  Then I had to turn on my “believe button” to truly connect to what God is trying to do in my life.  In our quest to leave stresslessed lives, he have to take time to be quiet and sit in silence.  In gaining a better grip on my outook.  I’ve decided to do the following.

1.  Exercise–Run around in the backyard will suffice if I can’t get to the gym.

2.  Pray–This is the most important factor.

3.  Talk to someone–Find someone you trust who you can share your thougthts with and who won’t enable you at the same time.

4.  Nutrition–We are what we eat (scientifically speaking); review your menus, get a handle on snacking at see if you feel better.

5.  Write it Out–Put it on paper, leave it..then come back in a few days and see if what was troubling you still exists or if the problem worked it self out.

6.  Just Breathe–Take deep breaths and let it go. Focus on what you can change and let  God handle the rest.

Last week’s winner of a coaching  session was Marie.  Thanks to everyone who has commented on my posts about Stressed Less Living.

How often do you plan quiet time to rest and think?  

Psalm 107:19

Then they cried to the Lord in their troubles and he saved them in their distress.

The Thursday before Easter, as I was waiting to pull my last load of laudry out for the night.  We were going out of town so the need for clean clothes rose high on my list.  I was standing in my laundry room and had a thought “  Wow, we’ve gotten such good use out of this dryer, I hope it doesn’t put us down anytime soon.”  No less than ten minutes after I had that thought, my dryer was blowing out cold air…

Panic set in as I had socks, underwear, shirts, all kinds of clothes that weren’t dry and needed to go in the suitcases asap as we were pulling out, by 7:00am.  Well, I quickly threw clothes on hangers, across doors, and on the shower rods so that they could get dry.  Since it was Easter week-end, the earliest we would be able to call someone would be Monday.  Monday rolls around and the news isn’t good.  Due to our service contract, it would be April 24th before someone could come out to fix my appliance that I didn’t believe I could live without.

My thoughts were:

1.What am I going to do?

2. Another bill…

3. This is ridiculous, maybe I can fix it myself.

4. I need to find a Laundromat.

Now my  stress level has really climbed the charts.  I’m frustrated about the “time I would loose” having to sit in a Laundromat and dry clothes.  The first week I went it was hot, dirty, and a bunch of people were there who looked like they would rather be someplace else.  I decided not to stay and had the attendant dry my clothes.

During the following week at work, I shared my plight with anyone who would listen.  There were jokes, sympathy shared, and commiserations.  There were flashbacks of “when was the last time I was in a Laundromat”.  Needless to say, I had no choice.  Hanging clothes on every doorframe and shower rod was getting old.  I made up in my mind to be at the Laundromat the following Saturday before 8:00am so that I could beat the crowd.

The point of my post:

As I walked into the clean, not crowded, Laundromat and began putting my clothes in the dryer.  I began to remember my momma’s stint as a Laundromat attendant in the late eighties.  You see, after her mother died, she relocated her family from Chicago, Illinois, where she worked a great job for a major corporation, back to Prattville, Alabama to look after her younger brother and sister.  She believed she was called to do this in honor of her mother.   She made a purposeful and conscious choice that lead to many sacrifices.

Tears streamed down my face, because it has almost been thirty years and the lessons and values of the Laundromat were lost to me. Last Saturday, God brought them back to me to show me that I was never above being in a Laundromat because

1.Everyone has a story to tell and sometimes it isn’t pretty. Everyone has dirty laundry that they rather not let everyone see.  Such a fitting metaphor for living a “stressful live”

2. Stress, weariness, and disappointment is often etched onto our faces no matter who we are, where we live, or how much change is in our pockets.

3.  God is everywhere and he provides us with love and comfort.

At that Laundromat in Prattville, where she took a job that was less than an eighth of her former salary,  My momma found a bible correspondence course that she completed and submitted  to the Prattmont Church of Christ on.  Months later, she and her sister were baptized.  About a year and a half later, my brother and I were baptized.  Because of a simple bible correspondence course, our entire family was exposed to the gospel.

Was it a coincidence that my momma found that correspondence course or was it a “God Appointment”.

Momma was a “Purposeful Professional”, before I even had a thought or inclination of becoming a Christian or even having an idea about what I wanted to be when I grew up.

So don’t let the stress of the day, your valley moments, times of making hard decisions, discourage you or break you down.  There is a plan and purpose for everything that we experience.

Last week’s winner was “Esther Tolle”.  This week, I’m offering another coaching session.  Please share in the comments, a practice, habit, or activity that you do to relieve stress.   I will select anothe winner on Friday.

I sought the Lord and he answered me.  He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame–Psalm 34:4-5

I have made the decision to lay my burdens down once and for all and do something about the stress that has crowded into my heart and overwhelmed my daily life.  My stress shows up and looks like anxiety,  fear, and worry.  I have to speak powerful words of wisdom and scripture to beat back the cloud of depression that wants to settle in around me.  My natural tendency is to be positive and upbeat. This takes intentional effort and I’m sad to say that the daily pressures and challenges of living sometime has me feeling less than enthusiastic.

When did I start feeling this way? Why didn’t I see it coming?  What am I doing about it?

When did I begin feeling this way?

Probably Summer of 2012. I had a new boss and a lot of changes were taking place in my office.  These changes included moving out of my office temporarily for two months to move back into a new office, figuring out the new staff dynamic, and navigating a work environment that had me watching my back at every turn …the fishbowl effect.  My son was also out of school for the summer so I was constantly juggling his schedule.  It didn’t appear as if there was anytime in the day for me…I wasn’t on my own agenda ( can anyone else relate).  I began putting my husband’s needs and my son’s needs above my own.

Why didn’t I see it coming? 

Like many of us , I was too busy to see it coming. I wouldn’t stay still long enough to see that I was on a collision course with my thoughts and feelings.  I’ve burdened myself with financial concerns, health scares, and home management projects that my mind was clouded into a spiral of “what ifs”. Mentally I’ve been living month to month with no thought of planning for stress management. The drama of it all hooked me in a bit. Some things I felt compelled to worry over and so I began saying “next month” it will be better. Thus, my mindset shifted to “month to month” with no definite plan to relieve and alleviate my stress or to address the issues that were causing it.

What am I doing about it now?

I’m participating in an online bible study with Proverbs 31 Ministries called Stressed Less Living.  I realize that I have to get a handle on how I manage stress.  It impacts my thought life, relationships, and my overall sense of well-being. I want to experience more peace and relaxation.  I’m also memorizing scripture, getting some exercise, saying no more often, and making sure that I delegate and ask for help in all of my circles.

Superwoman does not live at my address nor does she reside in my office.  I recently asked five colleagues to help me oversee an event.  On past occasions, I wouldn’t have asked for help.  The difference this time is that I’m recognizing my limitations.  I’m asking for prayers (please pray for me) to live out the fruits of the spirit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control… and not the works of the flesh ( another post for another day, lol).

I’m recognizing the things in my life that trigger stress.  I’m making a point to not overdue it, take naps in the evening, and spend more time being quiet.  My next step is develop a stress relief routine.

Don’t be afraid , for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you.  I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.–Isaiah 41:10

Let’s keep the conversation going with the following questions. What is causing stress in your life?  What changes can you make to experience more joy and less stress?

Please comment by Friday morning April 12th.  One person will be randomly selected to win a free session of professional development coaching.

Before you leave, visit awhile on my homepage. don’t forget to connect with me on Facebook subscribe to my blog, and stay connected with me  by downloading my free report “Connect to Your Success”.

]]> http://lakeciaharris.com/my-journey-to-stress-less-living/feed/ 15 http://lakeciaharris.com/recognizing-the-hidden-agenda/ http://lakeciaharris.com/recognizing-the-hidden-agenda/#comments Tue, 19 Mar 2013 02:23:52 +0000 Lakecia Harris http://lakeciaharris.com/?p=352

This group of professionals look innocent enough.  They are all willing to work together to solve their organizations latest challenges…right? Not so fast, don’t be quick to think that because they all look like they are working together that is what is actually happening.   For pretend purposes, let’s say that two of them have hidden agendas.

What is a hidden agenda?  Well an agenda is a written or sometimes verbal record of what you want to accomplish that is shared with others.  We often use them to guide discussions for meetings and they are sometimes  used as a form of formal documentation.

So how does an agenda become hidden?  I believe when there is a spirit of distrust, anticipated personal gain, and a lack of respect for collaboration individuals will develop a hidden agenda.  Below is a list of four characteristics of someone who has a hidden agenda in the workplace.

Going along to get along:  This is evident when someone is saying yes to everything without questioning the plan, the processes, or the outcome. They seek harmony at all cost without true consensus.  They are unwilling to say what they really think.

Focusing on Personal Gain: Strategically placing emphasis on how to advance your career with no thought of how to best leverage a project for the good of everyone involved.

Withholding information from the team: Sometimes we think by not sharing we are more in control of the outcome.  Open communication and dialogue benefits everyone.

Failing to participate:  This is common as some people will try to pass off the work on others because they are too lazy to do it themselves.

Why hide your agenda?  Sometimes it is simply an overall lack of trust ( I know that I am repeating myself) that causes women to do this. As a Purposeful Professional, take every opportunity to do your best work and reflect the love of  our savior.  People believe our testimony by our actions.

 Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.

Have you ever had a week that was full of confusion, misunderstandings, and accusations?

Well that has been my week. My stress level is elevated, my mind is racing, and I’m confused as to what happened and why. I know that I’m not alone and many of you have felt this way too.  I’m learning that in moments like these I need to do the following (in no certain order)

1. Chill Out and don’t take things personal.
2. Be willing to reflect and figure out where things went wrong.
3. Look for the hidden agenda and compare it to the visible agenda(this alone is a blog post…coming later)
4. Smile and keep smiling.
5. Fail forward admitting when you’re wrong and make amends.
6. Review your plans and connect back to your purpose.

7. Don’t waste time trying to find someone to blame.

8. Know that tomorrow is a new day to start over again.

My most important “pick-me up” is prayer. Calling some girlfriends and getting them to pray for me and with me is powerful. Also hugs from my family hit the spot.  Also reading a daily devotional helps me focus and settle in for the day.

Re-grouping or starting over with a fresh start is a powerful reminder of the grace we get each day living purposefully. So tomorrow is a new day and I’m planning to celebrate each opportunity  that I have to make a positive difference.

Relationships in the workplace can take on a life of their own.  We are shaped by these relationships and can hardly keep them separate from other parts of our lives.  If you are highly relational and extraverted like me, people not tasks are probably higher on your list of daily priorities. You are probably energized by meetings, conferences, and connecting with colleagues. Unfortunately, you have probably also seen or have even been privy to workplace relationships that were all wrong and maybe had damaging consequences for those involved.  Below is my top seven reasons why positive relationships at work can be beneficial for your overall career success.

1.  Identify a mentor who can help shape your career.

2. Learn to truly serve others and show qualities of care and concern.

3. Effectively network to get more accomplished and to create synergy ( more on synergy later)

4.  Applying my new favorite verse Proverbs 27:17 to help foster deeper understanding.

5. Develop new dimensions in your personal communication skills.

6.  Share in the highs and lows of teamwork, corporate accomplishments, and meeting performance goals.

7.  Help you to show-up and attain a higher  level of personal success.

I know that you also may have very valid reasons for not overly investing or connecting with the individuals you work with beyond what is expected as you perform your duties.  However, take a moment to imagine what your work environment would be like if you showed up to the office more focused and determined to have positive relationships.

What can you do to improve your relationships at work?

My  new motto for life is “I Choose To Love My Life”.  I found this motto through my sisters-of-purpose at the Life Coaching Company for Women called ibloom.  I became familiar with ibloom in 2008 and have been blesssed by being apart of their coaching programs and online community on Facebook.  You may ask what is all of the hype about coaching?  Isn’t it a weaker version of counseling?  In answering I will tell you no.  Coaching is a process by which you discovery more about yourself and how you want to live more richly with gratitude and thankfulness in the areas of  your  finances, relationships, career, spirituality, and health. Different than counseling, coaching helps you decide what steps would be most helpful to you in improving an aspect of your life.

The ibloom team shows you how to do this with their signature weekly program, in book form, called “I Choose To Love My Life, with personalized one-on-one coaching, coaching groups for women in business, and within their online membership community.  I have had the opportunity to participate in all of their programs and highly recommend that you learn more about their services.  Below is a list of  seven ways being affiliated with ibloom has changed my life.

1.  I was blessed by having their Founder, Kelly Thorne Gore, be one of my instructors for my life coach certification.

2.  I learned the power of identifying “one word” to set the tone and focus fr what I wanted to accomplish in a given year.

3.  I realized what personal habits were holding me back from being successful in implementing my goals.

4.  I’ve learned not to chased down every “bright and shiny” opportunity that crosses my path.

5.  I’ve been invited to several “facebook parties” and have come to love them..

6.  I’ve  learned the power of journaling  and it’s significance for my mental health.

7.   I’ve learned to be intentional with my actions and reactions to people and circumstances.

I am happily encouraging you to check out ibloom by visiting their website at http://www.ibloom.us  or by joining me and hundreds of women across the world at their annual online New Year’s Party.

Connecting with ibloom is your opportunity to take a tiny step in the direction of living a life that you love !  During the next two weeks, I am holding a contest on my blog where I will be giving away a copy of the book, I Choose To Love My Life. In order to enter the contest, please respond with one of your goals, intentions, or plans for 2012 that will help you to live a life that you love.

Blessings,

Lakecia.

Let Wisdom be your sister and make common sense your closest friend

Proverbs 7:4 CEV

Every opportunity you have is going to reflect what you value about wisdom and common sense.  As I have reflected about my worklife (#worklifereflections), I can recall several instances where I should have exercised more wisdom, especially in the area of communications.  See if anyof the following ring true for you.

1. Speaking out on an issue before fully understanding all aspects of it and it’s impact.

2. Distrusting a colleague because you’ve decided not to like them because you didn’t agree on an issue personalizing what should be a professional dialogue.

3. Participating in unconstructive gossip-based conversations that have nothing to do with a task, and is counter productive to good team development.

4.  Not putting forth your best effort in written communications.

5.  Going off on someone via email, facebook, or twitter….This is a huge No NO  and can have far reaching consequences.

6.  Acting on an issue without receiving “wise counsel” from a colleague.

We spend more time with our colleagues rather than our family in the course of any given work week.  As Purposeful Professionals we are called to be extraordinary in our professional relationships ultimately reflecting the love of Christ to all of our colleagues.  Failing to give wisdom her proper place works against us.

How might you incorporate more wisdom and commonsense into your worklife?